Today was a school assembly to congratulate the students on the improved state test scores last year. Our theme for last year had been "Rising Up" and for this year it is "To Infinity and Beyond!" As usual, I wrote new words to a song (The song was "Greased Lightning" from the movie/musical "Grease") for the teachers to perform at the assembly. As usual, I was pleased with the song and had visions of how wonderful and fun it was going to be to perform. Well, to put it mildly, it was horrible! Although I tried to drum up some excitement among the teachers, we only had two rehearsals where anyone actually came to learn and practice the song. At the first rehearsal, a teacher whom I shall call Diane came and said, "Oh, I can't sing and do the dance at the same time!" She proceeded to leave. She did not come to the second rehearsal, so I figured she was not going to participate. Another teacher, whom I shall call Rita, came to the second rehearsal. Rita irritates the heck out of me on a good day, but her propensity to make up her own choreography instead of sticking to what I have taught the rest of the group to do, always makes me mad. Rita is, in a word, a Diva. She LOVES to steal the show.
So after just two rehearsals, I went to school this morning, still hoping for a good performance. When I got there, I found that the music we'd used for our rehearsals was not available to download and play at the assembly. A different instrumental version of the same song had been found and was to be used. I figured it would not matter that much. After all, it was the same song. However, the instrumentation and the cues to begin the verses were just different enough to be confusing. Of course, not having time to preview the music, I only found this out during the performance itself.
The time for the performance came. I went up to the front with the other teachers. The music began and I began to sing the song as best I could. Apparently Diane thought I wasn't doing well enough because she grabbed the second microphone and began to sing along with me. Sadly, she did not know the tune at all and was basically just singing in a monotone. This not only rattled me but angered me. What the heck is she doing?!?!?, I thought. I messed up on some of the lyrics because, rather than pay attention to the words, I was upset listening to the flat, unpleasant sounds coming from Diane's mic. I glanced around to the other teachers and noted, with displeasure, that Rita was just dancing away and making a spectacle of herself. She was NOT, however, doing the choreography that we'd rehearsed. To me, one of the best things about a group number is seeing all the members of the group dancing TOGETHER. Think of the scene in "Dirty Dancing" when Patrick Swayze leads the entire ensemble as they dance up to the stage where "Baby" is waiting. Think of Janet Jackson's "Rythym Nation" video. Having one oddball just off doing her own thing just takes away from the whole thing.
I had asked one of the other teachers, who was not singing and dancing with us, to videotape the number for me. "Maybe," I thought, "It wasn't as awful as I thought." One viewing of the video, however, confirmed that it was not only as awful as I thought, but was even WORSE. I was depressed and angry about it all day.
When I do something, I want to do it right. I want it to be impressive and successful. I just HATE that I was up there this morning, looking like a total idiot while these other women felt the need to just take over my number. I WANT to say I will never do anything for that school again; that I will never sing or dance or write a song for them or participate in any programs. I wish I could say that and stick to it, but I know I won't. I keep getting too many ideas of songs and musical numbers that would be so great and so fun to do! And, the truth is, they really WOULD be fun if people would just let me do it and not try to change things right in the middle of a performance. I do NOT like to be humiliated like that.
Roger said, "Well, you could have just put down your mic and walked off when Diane started singing but then you would have looked like you were sulking." I probably WOULD have looked like I was sulking but I wish SO MUCH that I'd thought of that and done it. At least now I know what to do next time.
