My Sweet Paulina

I have just returned from the vet's office where I had to have my sweet little Paulina put to sleep. She was a beautiful 15-year-old tabby cat. I got her in 1994 when she and her siblings were dumped off in a neighborhood in Van Nuys. My friend, Barbara Groom, caught her and Barbara's neighbor caught Paulina's brother. Sadly, Barbara's cat did not really get along with Paulina, so she called to see if I would like to have her. Although we always had cats in the house when I was growing up, I had not had a cat of my own because Jill (my friend and, often times, my room-mate) was allergic to them. However, Jill was engaged to be married. I figured that, if Jill could get a man, I could get a cat. I told Barbara I'd come over and see the cat. I told her the cat had to be very affectionate and really love me or I would not take her -- I cannot stand cats who do not let me hold them and pet them. Paulina must have known how I felt because she put on quite a performance! She let me hold her and pet her and she purred and licked me. I fell in love immediately and took her home. After a few weeks, she became much more aloof, which was a disappointment to me, but I still loved her.

I did not know what to name her at first. I knew I wanted a name that was bilingual, but I couldn't think of one that was 'good' enough for her. Then, while at work at the Estee Lauder counter at Robinson's-May (a summer job), I stood there looking at the huge photo of Paulina Pourriskova (the official Estee Lauder 'face' at that time) and thought, "She looks like my cat." I knew then what I should name her.

When people saw her, they always commented on how beautiful she was. Often, they'd say something like, "I am not really a cat person, but that is a beautiful cat!" It was true! She was gorgeous! She was very neurotic -- more than the average neurotic cat. She was very shy and would not often let people touch her. She would hide whenever people came over. She would only eat dry cat food -- no canned food, no tender vittles, no kitty treats, nothing else! If she was stressed out, she'd lick her fur off and just leave her naked skin.

Once, I came home from work and realized that something was wrong with Paulina. I think she was having some sort of a heat stroke. She was panting, her tongue was totally dry and bright red, her eyes were glazed. I tried to get her to drink some water, but she wouldn't do it. I was frantic! I thought she was going to die right there in front of me! Finally, the thought came to me to dump her in a tub of water. I put water in the bathtub and dunked her in. She was not at all happy! But, as she began to lick herself dry, she consumed all the water, and it seemed to help. I dunked her a second time, just for good measure. She was fine after that and I was grateful to have been able to save her life.

When we moved to Sunland, I was shocked at how hard she took it. After all, she'd lived with someone when she was born, then been dumped in Van Nuys, then lived with Barbara, then lived with me in Glendale. I figured she was used to moving around. But, the minute I let her go in our new apartment in Sunland, she ran and hid. I did not see her for weeks. I would hear her at night, walking around and around, all over the apartment, meowing and meowing. If I turned on the light, she'd hide again. I tried just talking to her and trying to sooth her, but she would not come to me at all.

When I brought home my other cat, Gilbert, Paulina was furious with me. She did not try to do anything to Gilbert, but she tried to scratch and bite the living daylights out of me. If I came near her, she'd bare her teeth, her claws, she'd growl and arch her back, and just show me how very unhappy she was. I'd thought that, being a female, she might feel a bit 'motherly' towards this little kitten with the broken leg. Nothing could have been further from the truth! I don't know that she ever totally forgave me for that.

When Roger and I met and got married, he told me he was "not a cat person." He is still not that fond of Gilbert, but he and Paulina bonded! She was his baby and he was her daddy. She adored him. She would sleep on the bed with him, let him pet her, and wanted his attention whenever she could get it. It was just as hard for Roger to have to let her go as it was for me.

I left Paulina's rhinestone collar on her for her to be burried in -- every girl needs her bling. But I took her little nametag to keep. Roger and I will miss her a lot and, although he would not want to admit it, I think Gilbert will miss her a lot too. Goodbye, my sweet Paulina. Sleep in heavenly peace. We love you!

Good For You, Miss California!

All over the internet today was the news that Miss California was not chosen as "Miss U.S.A." Supposedly, she had been in the lead, but 'blew it' on the big question and answer phase of the competition. When asked her feelings about same-sex marriage, she basically said that she thinks that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. She said she did not mean to offend anyone; but that's how she was raised and that's what she believes. After the pageant was over, people were actually getting into shouting matches in the lobby, over Miss California's comments. She was villified online on blogs, in chatrooms, and on video. She was called profane names and even the co-chairman of the Miss California organization released a statement expressing her "disappointment" in her. (Way to be supportive, huh?) Yet, she says she has no regrets; that she gave an honest answer and was true to herself. So much for the stereotype of the 'blonde bimbo.' If I could say anything to Miss California, I'd say, "Good for you!" Good for you for being honest, even in the glare of the spotlight of a national television broadcast. Good for you for not backing down, even when others criticize and mock you. Good for you for placing more value on your own morals and standards than on a sparkly tiara and a satin sash. I don't remember who actually did win -- one of the Carolina's, I think. But I know who has the greater reward.

Happy Birthday to Me! What Should I Wish For?

Well, today is my birthday. I swear I almost forgot that it was until my husband came home from work this morning and said, "Happy Birthday!" to me. I am 49. In one more year, I will be 50! (And they say I can't do math! HA!) I am old! Yet, I do not feel old. I do not feel like a high school or college girl, but I do not feel like someone who's at least halfway through her life, either. I am grateful for many things, though, and thought I'd write about them here. I am grateful to have a wonderful husband -- a blessing I NEVER thought I'd actually have. I am grateful to have a home (however, unorganized and cluttered and frustrating it is!) and a reliable car and a good job. I am grateful that we have enough money to be able to pay our bills each month without worrying too much. There are months that are harder and months that are easier but, for the most part, we do not struggle as many others we know do. I am grateful to be an American, even if I am sorely disappointed in the choice of President that most of my fellow Americans made last fall. It is and, hopefully, will always be the greatest country on earth. I am grateful to be able to feel that I have made a difference in at least a few of my students' lives throughout the years I've been teaching. (some that come to mind are: Omar De La Cruz, Krystal Villanueva, Krystal Rodriguez, Marco Rodriguez, and Alexa Valle -- and those are only ones I've had here in the Valley, not from before I moved here.) I am very grateful for good friends, who love and support me. I am grateful to feel more accepted and a part of my ward -- not an easy thing, but I've finally "arrived", it seems. I am grateful for my calling as a Relief Society teacher. I am grateful for my talents and the joy it brings me to create things, sing, sew, etc. I am grateful for pets -- my Gilbert and Paulina -- and the joy they bring me. I am grateful to not be allergic to animals. I am grateful for the gospel in my life and for my testimony and for all that being a member of the church has brought to my life. I am grateful for my Grandma -- I know that anything good about me, ultimately came from her, including my ability to sew, teach, sing, etc. I am grateful to have known Roger's mom and for the ease with which we told each other "I love you" each and every time we saw one another. I am grateful for all I've learned and seen as I've travelled with Roger all over the United States. So......as I contemplate all of these wonderful blessings -- many more, I know, than I deserve -- I have really nothing to wish for as I blow out my birthday candles except for the wish that I may be more righteous and more worthy of all that I have been given and more responsible for all that I have stewardship over. So, bring on the cake! I'm ready! (But you may want to stand by with a fire extinguisher, just in case! 49 is a lot of candles!)

OK, So Now I Am A Blogger

Lynne told me about having a blog and suggested that I start one. She said she thought I'd be really good at it. (Obviously, she knows that flattery works with me!) So here I am, trying to be a blogger. How am I doing so far? (Does anybody remember the themesong to the Gary Shandling Show? That always cracked me up!)